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conclusion. [Sun Mar 2007 at 11:24am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

i decided to recheck myself into work the last 2 days
for some extra cash i'll need this break 
in total i spent 8 hours with him, and it hurt
it really brought me back to everything, of how much attention he 
gave me, building up in my mind that he wanted to pursue something
then realizing he had one night stand written across his forehead
and it wasn't even worth a shopping-spree, that's hardly even a shopping spree
since i hardly make anything anyways

but looking back on this journal, it reminds me
of all that, then in the summer names like kevin and colin stand out
none of which have a meaning in my life anymore
this isn't me. and i want something new. 
so i made a new journal and added a few
whose friend pages i actually read 

 

aashhlleeyy

 

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WEEK SUMMARY: [Thu Mar 2007 at 10:47pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

i called colby spencer by accident
i make a great first impression

i studied and studied and studied for mr downey's class
but we're meeting tommorrow over my unfortunate grade
that is if new england isn't hit by snow or tornados

the play's on saturday! i'll be wearing one of the shirts 
for sasha's name because i love her name and because she's sasha

never realized frankenstein was the scientist's name, 
not the monster's

learning about darwinism makes me sad to think of
so much i was told to believe and still am every sunday 

i want to rent the marie antoinette dvd!

i hope i'm never text-message broken up.

2 comment

[Sat Feb 2007 at 8:14pm]

i just looked through the entry posted on the main lj page
about two users who fell in love! their story is really really cute
and i had ice cream at the same place in boston they did!
yep, well today flew by
i went to the hockey game with greta to meet up with maggie and colby
(who btw, she gets a two thumbs up for this one) 
he's really sweet and nice and it was good to get to know him
then sasha came towards the end
and let me say, by the end of that game we could list who about 
7 of the players were, and everyone else blended in together
exeter was playiing on the rink next to us, and i saw matt pope
who reminded me of someone else, and i prayed dear lord i wouldn't happen to see
someone who is currently his friend, and greta was as much relieved as i was
to not see him, because i would have thrown up on her
speaking of throwing up, if i see heather or angela or kevin or basically anyone 
else at mb, i will throw up as well, which is why grets and i are getting jobs at
water country! lifeguards that is which is something i've never done but 
have wanted to try
and guys would be great
i guess theres applications online, so i'll be checking it out

so much for snowboarding this weekend
and my hands hurt from guitar hero greta and i rocked out on
so thats it for today!

2 comment

[Sat Feb 2007 at 8:49pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

tomorrow i'm taking up snowboarding?
bring it.

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winter love. [Mon Jan 2007 at 11:25am]
[ mood | distracted ]

ive got the only power in the house
the roads are bad
im stranded here

i wish i lived in a dorm
and could sneak into the room down the hall
its the party scene where everyones been drawn to
because the powers out
and i'll grab the hand of the boy in my chemistry class
i secretly have a crush on 
except really i don't have the nerve to
so my roomate who knows my secret grabs both our hands
and we all go outside and slip around on the ice and throw snowballs
our laughter distracts us from my roomate's disapperance with her own boy
and the cold january breeze drifts me into his dorm room and i'll be noted missing till the morning.


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history starts now [Sun Dec 2006 at 1:13pm]
[ mood | awake ]

last night is such a blur
all the emotions i had for lyle spilled out of me 
i dont know when i fell asleep
ive never felt that hurt and that upset over a person like this
i needed last night to happen though
i needed to just tear him apart in my mind
like he tore me apart mentally and physically
you wont see this girl crying over him ever again

reality finally set in and i'm completely over him

from all of this i've learned a lot
a whole lot
that just because a guy "flirts with you" 
doesnt mean anything
you need to give it more time
don't rush into anything
don't make the decision that this is the guy for you after the first date
give it a few more so you know you both feel the same way for eachother
and if he doesn't call you back 
for whatever the reason
that's a major sign he doesnt feel the same you do
leave him. he's not worth running after

i dont ever want to feel this humiliated 
ever again, so im keeping my guard up
its a new year and im starting over
loveee can come find me
ill be waiting patiently :)

2 comment

[Sat Dec 2006 at 7:31pm]

i absolutely love this time of year


scratch that until this god damn tests are over with.
i haven't spoken to anyone since friday afternoon
if i don't go mad by the end of today, it will be a miracle.

6 comment

[Wed Dec 2006 at 7:16pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]

i'm saying goodbye.
goodbye to falling asleep teary eyed
to dwelling over the stupid stuff girls supposidly need in their lives

when this is such a big world we're living in
who says things have to be this way or that
they don't.

there's so many people out there we're yet to meet
and even more we will never meet
so who cares about those you see now
that mess with your mind
that make you feel so completely meaningless
that you'd rather not wake up
because they're just one person
and they will have nothing over you
unless you let them.

i want to wake up 
anxious of what the day will bring me
i want to live in wonder
i want each day to bring me something new
there's too much i havent done
so instead of DWELLING over it
i would like to go out there
and do it. do it all !

and sometime i will be saying this again
because it's never too late to just live a little

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